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Your First Quest

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Your First Quest

Post by Ragen on Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:01 pm

roshi- oh there you are.
Ragen- yea. what do you want old man?
roshi- that is no way to speak to you elder!!
ragen- what ever you say prev.
roshi- i need you to find my old magazines.
ragen- fine you old frat

looking though master roshi house he walk around the island and finds one almost cover in the sand.
ragen- ok thats one.
he kept looking and saw that turtle was laughing about something and went to chect it out. he finds that turtle is reading one of the magenzines!
Ragen-like what you see you prevy turtle?
ragen-sure it isn't. maybe i should just tell master roshi you toke his magazine.
turtle- fine. -hands it over looking sad-
ragen- im sorry turtle but he told me to.

after an hour of seaching the tiny island Ragen spoted something way out at sea. he flew to where it was and what do you know it was mastr roshi limited copy.

ragen- here you go roshi. -hands them all over.
roshi- thanks kid. i might train you hahaha
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Beginner Member

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Re: Your First Quest

Post by Cleric on Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:31 am

For your first real quest, this isn't that bad, but in the future, you need to use commas around the things the people say. Don't seperate the lines, do it like this:

"I need you to find my old magazines," Master Roshi said. I replied, "Fine, you old frat!" Looking though mater roshi house he walk around the island and finds one almost cover in the sand.

Please, do go a little more in depth next time like maybe you could explain how you knew who master Roshi was, or even give a little more detail on finding the magazines.

This quest is accepted!


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